Seven Amazing Ways to Become Love

“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.” - Gilbert K. Chesterton

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? (holds up one finger)
Curly: This.
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”
Curly: (smiles) That’s what you have to find out.

In the movie City Slickers the theme centers on the question what is the one thing life is about. The preceding scene between Billy Crystal’s character, Mitch, and the late Jack Palance’s character, Curly, is a brief reminder that life doesn’t have to be difficult or complex to figure out once you find that one thing.

For some that one thing might be success, friends, money or faith. For others, the one thing is love. Love is the foundation in life; not just in receiving love but in giving and becoming love, too. Consider these seven amazing ways to discover how to become love.

1. Love is a choice. There is a difference between love, the feeling and love, the choice. Throughout life, we often have the opportunity to fall in love. Feelings of excitement are often associated with love when it is first experienced. It can feel very good to fall in love and it can feel very empty when the love is taken away. However, in order to live a happy and purposeful life it is important to choose to become a loving person. Even though we can’t always control or predict when we may feel love, we do have the power to choose to become love. We get to choose when and how to act with love. Opportunities exist everyday.

2. Love your self, first. Before you can share love, you must first have love for yourself. Otherwise, how can you share what you don’t have? It may be difficult to find happiness and peace if you don’t think of yourself as worthy of receiving it. Self love is the most important element of becoming a spiritually healthy person. Love for self gives you balance, it centers you, and it keeps you on track when circumstances in life attempt to derail you.

3. Give yourself love. The challenge becomes when you have never learned how to love yourself. Some may find it difficult to self love, not because of their worthiness, but because they don’t know how. Because of childhood events, or other life experiences, some don’t even understand they are allowed to self love. If you have difficulty with the idea of self love, consider imagining you are holding the smaller you; the younger you. What would you say? Would you show love? Chances are you would. Extend that same love and grace to yourself today.

4. Make time for love. What’s more important to you, watching television or providing your focus to the person standing in front of you requesting your time and attention? Often times when we think we are too busy to give some of our time, some of our love, we are really just making the choice to do something else. The five minutes it might take to be fully present for someone or to return the telephone phone call to a friend who needs to talk, or to give and receive a hug can be the best time invested all day – and this investment will come back to you with more meaningful returns than perhaps anything else you may do.

5. Try to see the best in others, not the worst. When you expect good things to happen, good usually does happen. When you expect the best in someone, you often receive that, too. Bottom line: You usually get what you asked for in life. Begin learning how to experience those in your life (co-workers, friends, and family) as essentially good, worthy and full of incredible value. Look for ways they please you, surprise you, and make your life better. They will feel your admiration, confidence and love for them.

6. Do your best to do your best, never try to do your worst. Becoming love takes effort. Becoming love is a commitment to show grace and compassion to others no matter how upset or discouraged you may feel. Becoming love has no margin for short-cuts or intentional ill-will. When you set out to try to do your best, no matter the circumstance, it will come back to you 20-fold or more.

7. Celebrate the love in your life. Love is a miracle. When you are able to share your love and become love you have something worth treasuring and celebrating. We should never take love for granted – it can be snatched away quickly and without mercy. Celebrate your loving heart and celebrate how blessed your life is becoming as you become love to more and more people. Celebrate the “one thing” in your life with passion and enthusiasm!

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