How to Discover the Unexpected

“None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.” - Kathleen Norris

The unexpected can change our lives. When surprising changes occur, our daily patterns, lifestyles and relationships can be enhanced and taken to the next level. We can develop new insights and new opportunities will present themselves that didn’t exist before.

Discovering the unexpected is an “a-ha” moment in our lives when the dots become connected and the next steps we need to take become very clear and exciting. The unexpected is what we worked so hard to achieve, dreamed for so long to come true and kept the faith in believing, even when we felt like giving up.

The unexpected can be little rocks and they can be big rocks. Little rocks look like the surprising telephone call you receive from a friend you have not heard from for years; or the unexpected tax refund check; or a snow day that keeps you home.

The unexpected big rocks look like the surprising promotion at work; or falling in love when you were not looking for love; or waking one day and finally realizing your life’s purpose and passion.

A big, unexpected rock recently fell on me and caused me to have an “a-ha” moment.

Several years ago I thought my career path was locked-in. My employer moved my family and me from Virginia Beach to Kansas City. This was a promotion and a promise for an exciting future.

Each year after this transition brought new responsibilities and challenges at work. Until last year, I had every intention to keep going down this career path until retirement. However, when Mary Beth, enrolled in the Graduate School of Social Welfare at Kansas University everything changed for me; I discovered the unexpected.

My wife went head-first into graduate school. Mary Beth spent most evenings and weekends reading, studying or writing research papers. She spent a considerable amount of time on her school work which left me with a lot of free time on my hands.

In an effort to fill this time, I resurrected a book project I started several years prior, but never really had the discipline to get much momentum or traction behind it. My thought was to bring the book project back, but change the medium from a book to a blog.

I thought a blog would be perfect because it would facilitate me writing the book in daily, bite-size chucks and then publishing these daily entries to gauge if people would really read or even be interested, in what I have to say. As a result, The Next 45 Years was born.

If you were to ask me a little over a year ago if I thought I would ever create and maintain a daily blog with a focus on personal development and relationship topics, I would have laughed at the idea. But as I got into it, I discovered writing was very healing and freeing for me and some people really were interested in what I had to say.

I discovered working on the blog was a good way to still hang-out with my wife while she focused on her work. I discovered the unexpected and it has changed my life in so many positive ways.

During this past year’s journey, three separate approaches have helped me to anticipate the unexpected in others of my life, too:

1. Develop a plan, a vision, for what your future could hold. Think of the question, “What would it would look like?” and apply this to as many areas of your life as possible. For example:
• “What would it look like to be financially independent?”
• “What would it look like to give and receive the love you have always longed for in life?”
• “What would it look like to be completely happy and free?”
An important piece of expecting the unexpected is to hold a vision in your mind of what it would look like; what it would feel like. When you spend time vibrating on this positive feeling, it has a way of manifesting itself in your life.

2. Act when information is available. When the door begins to open and you see a faint beam of light seep through the crack, this is when you can confidently place your hand on the handle of the door, turn it, open the door even wider, and step through. When you receive information that begins to answer the question, “What would it look like?” it is time for deliberate action.

3. Expect the Unexpected. Wait for it and watch for it. Know deep down in your soul the unexpected will happen for you. However, the unexpected may look completely different than the image you might have for it in your mind. As a result, balance, faith, and patience are the best tools to use in order to discover the unexpected.

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