How Much is Too Much?

There are limits to everything. There are some boundaries which must be respected and maintained. Sometimes you may not even realize when you have crossed one of these boundaries until it’s too late. When this happens you need to come up with a good exit strategy.

One hazard with being goal-orientated is you can step into a very deep hole without recognizing you are the one using the shovel to dig it. With any thing you do, there needs to be limits and realistic expectations. Over the last few weeks I have learned this lesson very well.

Last December I made the decision to do a complete redesign of The Next 45 Years (as you can see this redesign is now complete). But if I knew then what I know now, you probably would still be seeing the old design.

This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have done the redesign; it just means my approach would have been quite different. However, everything does indeed happen for a reason. Over the last six weeks more than just my blog has been updated and redesigned. Certain aspects of my life have also been subjected to review and analysis and some parts have even been refreshed.

It is clear to me that my life needs to be updated occasionally, too. This doesn’t mean I was broken or out-of-date before; it just means we can all get stale and stuck in cycles and habits which don’t promote self improvement or personal development.

Sometimes we get caught up with doing too much with other activities and for other people, but doing very little for ourselves. When this happens, we know the answer to the question, “how much is too much?”

This redesign project has taught me a lot more than just the technical and creative skills I have picked up along the way; this project has taught me, and reminded me, of some very important life lessons which have refreshed my soul. Here are a few of these lessons:

• I love to write. Yes, I still wrote four to five articles a week during the re-design project, but I never felt fully engaged or focused with the writing. My mind would drift to the more tactical items I had to complete. Writing is good for me. It provides an outlet and a means for me to communicate how I think and feel in a very healing way.

• I do have limits and I do get tired. Getting up at 4:30 a.m. every morning and working late has taken its toil on me. I have lost a touch of my energy and spirit. Many times over the past month my energy and passion have been mediocre at best. It’s good to remember that it can go away, but it’s better to know I can get it back.

• Fatigue and stress are crippling. Both have caused me to be more irritable and less patient. Understanding my weaknesses provides me with a healthier context to recognize and focus on my strengths.

• No matter how hard I work to move forward in my life, the ghosts of my past still linger and remind me of their presence. They continue to whisper things like I need to work harder, be perfect, or I’m never going to have any real value as a person. Acknowledging that these ghosts still exist motivates me to continue learning how to ignore them and not to be frightened when they reveal themselves.

• Self-sabotage is still one of my tendencies. Because I have felt unworthy in the past, I would sabotage my relationships and successes. The theory “get them before they get you” was one I once subscribed to in my life. I had to fight the urge to sabotage this project, too.

• Self-care is more important than I thought. Rest, exercise and eating well are all very fundamental and important necessities for me. I’m at my best when I feel my best.

• I did not self-medicate. The stress, tension and occasional disappointment I experienced along the way did not lead to excessive drinking, or drinking for the wrong reasons. This may seem like a small thing, but it means everything to me.

• My family believes in me and trusts me. They see where I want to go and they want to help me get there. They have been the most valuable asset to this project. It feels good to be trusted.

An exit strategy is usually planned well in advance. It is thought-out and conditional based on circumstances which may, or may not, occur. When I started the blog redesign project six weeks ago I did not even contemplate an exit strategy. Today, I have one.

My exit strategy goes something like this:

When I find myself too tired to function and too stressed to think, I will continue to learn how to dial down my intensity. I will continue to find my value and define my self-worth by what I have accomplished and not by what I think I should accomplish. I will recognize the fact the ghosts will probably continue to taunt me; but it will be my choice to recognize them, or not.

How much is too much? I have found my answer.

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