Ice Storm

Kansas City was spared from a devastating ice storm yesterday. Our friends in Oklahoma were not as lucky.

Mary Beth and I made all of the necessary preparations. We checked the batteries in the flashlights, made sure we had plenty of bottled water and canned food, and made certain our gas fireplace was working.

The storm hit us with a glancing, but substantial blow and we are still standing. We are still functioning because we didn’t lose our power.

Throughout the night I fought sleep because I wanted to hear the storm as it approached; I didn’t want it to surprise me. Laying in the darkness with the warmth of my wife next to me, my mind raced back to all of those times in my life when I had to survive similar storms. Not storms created by nature, but storms created by my reality.

Images of Thanksgivings when my mother was incapable of preparing our family dinner because of alcohol or depression, or both; images of the dog chasing my brother into the tractor that took his leg; images of the other boys taunting me and bullying me into the point of submission resonated in my mind as I heard the ice begin to pelt the window.

Regret or pity did not occur to me. Instead, I felt an incredible amount of resolve and success to be where I am today. Those storms damaged by self-confidence and limited the value of my self-worth, but they didn’t take my soul and they didn’t claim my heart.

I have learned I can’t control the actions or judgments of others. Parents will choose to drink; accidents will happen; and some children will not have the emotional maturity to know, or care, what they are doing.

There once was a time when I would give my power away to these circumstances and people by trying to make them stop, or trying to make them like me, or to love me in a healthy way, but not today. Holding on to my power has made all of the difference.

An important lesson learned from the previous storms is we get to choose if we want to relinquish our power or not. As children this decision is not always available to us, but as adults we can decide if we want our baggage and self-limiting beliefs to keep us from enduring, surviving, and most importantly, living the life we want to live.

Just as I made sure the flashlight was working last night, over the past few years I have been making similar preparations by checking my own batteries to be certain they would have the juice to sustain me and continue to guide me out of the darkness.

I prepare by asking for help when I don’t know the answer. I prepare by deciding the type of person and man I want to be. I prepare by holding on to my power and only sharing it with people who I decide can receive it from me.

The irony with ice storms is they appear to make the world look beautiful and majestic, but underneath the ice is hardship and pain. Ice storms fool us into believing what we are seeing is innocent and tranquil. We buy-in to their illusion and then we are forced to live in their reality.

Folks in Oklahoma understand this all too well, and so do many of us. The repair crews will be out soon to restore the power for those who lost it. Life will resume and the ice will eventually melt.

It is winter in the Midwest. The next storm will be here soon. When it comes, we can make the choice to be prepared. Even though we can’t control loosing our electrical power; we can choose to make the fireplace ready and have a flashlight nearby. This will remind us to hold on to the power we can control; that we can survive; and we know how to live after the storm passes. I am ready for the next ice storm.

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