Exercising Some Control

Recently fellow blogger Lorraine Cohen of Powerfull Living asked me to participate in an OnGrowing Weekly Challenge inspired by Donna Karlin, author of the blog Perspectives. The purpose of this challenge is to discuss a period in our life when we can gave our power away to people, situations of things and then how we were able to reclaim that power.

Karlin writes, “I maintain that the gap between where you are and where you want to be is filled by what you choose to do in the time available to you; every conversation, thought, choice and decision.

We can either blame someone else for our shortfallings, our level of success, our happiness or anything else you can think of but the bottom line is, when we give the power of our destiny in whatever realm to someone else, we are choosing to give up control of our lives.”

I couldn’t agree more.

10 years ago my career was in full-gear. I was a sales representative for a Fortune 500 publishing company in a niche market with few competitors. I made a lot of money, but the price for my earning potential suddenly became too high.

My wife also worked for the same company, but in a different capacity. She was a manager in a start-up venture which was doomed from the start. Mary Beth offered significant data that proved the business model would not work, but upper management would not listen. In fact, they blamed her for the failure.

Their criticism, along with her own sense of failure, drove her into a deep depression. My wife was hurt and wounded and the company simply dismissed her and treated her as an inconvenience; a nuance.

At age 35 and making an above average income this company thought they had all of the control. “Where can he go and earn this amount of money?” they thought. They assumed a position of power and control out of arrogance, and perhaps with a measure of ignorance as well.

My declaration was clear. I insisted the company acknowledge and take responsibility for both the failed business venture and my wife’s state or I would leave. They thought I was bluffing. They refused. I resigned.

My wife and my family do not come with a decimal point; they can not be deposited into a bank account; and they certainly cannot be bought. More importantly, my wife is not inconvenient. Her spirit and presence is capable of providing enough convenience and love for everyone in her life. This company is not capable of understanding her value because of their own unworthiness.

When my last day on this earth comes, I won’t be wondering how much money I walked away from when I was a young man, I will be celebrating the life I enjoyed with my wife and family.

That one decision; that choice to control my life has made all the difference in the world.

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