On Wednesday night as my family and I were finishing dinner, we turned on the television to watch the Kansas City Royals play the Minnesota Twins. Instead of seeing the usual pre-game interviews and starting lineups, we saw eight lanes of a bridge that once carried hundreds of people now laying in the Mississippi River.
The atmosphere in our home went from the usual lively chatter to a painful focus of trying to process what we were seeing and hearing on TV. Our expectations were distorted as we tried to process the juxtaposition of the familiarity of the Royals’ play-by-play announcers speak about an event totally out of context for them, and us.
Our son Andrew, 15, watched with a look of disbelief and, perhaps, fear. He looked at me with a painfully quizzical expression as if to say “why do these kinds of things happen?”
Unfortunately, I was unable to provide a definitive answer for Andrew.
Tragedy and pain are a part of the human condition and experience, too. Our happiness is sometimes derailed in order to respond to painful and unfortunate events, which can contribute to our personal development and growth if we allow them. Sometimes if we ask for strength we are given events that make us choose to be strong. If we ask to be more loving, considerate and patient, we are given opportunities to do so. If our dream is to do heroic things, we do not automatically become heroes; we are given the opportunity to be heroic, if we choose.
Life does indeed ebb and flow. In our personal lives, we experience times of great happiness and wonderful connections in our relationships and within ourselves. Other times, however, we struggle and we can even disappoint those closest to us. We say and do things we do not mean and we simply get off track from time-to-time.
Life is indeed about energy. The same energy that causes us to fall in love, accomplish our goals and dreams, and fill us up with confidence can also be the same energy that causes pain and fear. On Wednesday, the world seemingly got off track, too.
Divers plunged into the river to search and recover those lost, a young hero struggled to remove scared children from a precariously perched school bus, and doctors and nurses tended to wounds which will be slow to heal.
However, the Minnesota Twins played a baseball game exactly one hour after the collapse. Andrew watched the coverage as long as he could then he left for the gym to play basketball. I stayed tuned to the ball game rather than switching over to CNN.
When things go terribly wrong we can find relief in doing the things that bring us comfort because we do not always know why things went wrong in the first place. By doing these sorts of things is not ignoring or denying our reality, it’s a form of survival to cope and move pass past the ebb. It’s telling the world “I hurt.” It’s a way of asking for help. It’s a way to stay centered and balanced. It’s a way to take care of yourself when things do go wrong. It’s a way to choose to do and be what you want to be.
When Andrew returned home I walked into the kitchen as he was fixing a snack. I kissed his head and told him that I loved him. That is what he needed. I’m sure this is what the people in the Twin Cities need, too.
To help, please visit http://www.redcrosstc.org/