The following seven secrets have worked very well for over 22 years in my marriage and for many other couples too. Follow them, adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want — a happy marriage!
1. Communicate
2. Meet each other’s needs
3. Learn to resolve conflicts
4. Grow with each other
5. Agree on money matters
6. Love and respect
7. Maintain a commitment to the marriage
Maintain a commitment to the marriage
This can be especially difficult today with all of the distractions of our daily lives, but it’s important that you put your marriage first. If you’re committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there’s nothing the two of you can’t accomplish.
Four years ago my wife, Mary Beth, and I were separated with the prospects of saving our marriage looking very bleak at best. Both of us were hurt and disappointed by the other. I owned the majority of the issues that caused us to separate in the first place.
For years, my primary commitment was on my career and not on my family and marriage. I allowed my career to control my focus and ignored the numerous warning signs that were obvious to everyone except for me. My wake-up call came almost too late.
After nine months of separation a slow reconciliation process ensued. It was hard for both of us to trust one another and to let go of the baggage of the past.
The reconciliation period ended with Mary Beth and me
renewing our wedding vows (pictured) and making a new commitment to our love, our marriage and to one another.
Today, our marriage is far from perfect but the rock we go back to for strength is our commitment to the marriage. We are both committed to watch out for each others’ needs. But, the fine line we have learned to live in order to nurture our marriage and ourselves is to allow each other the space and freedom to grow independently of our relationship, then, at the end of the day, we come back together to share our day and ourselves.
Our commitment, then, is to give love and respect to the other as the first priority. The natural and authentic result of this is a good marriage grounded in realistic expectations and values. I can’t think of a better way to show my love and honor my wife, and my marriage.
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April 2nd, 2008 at 4:55 am
your secrets are very good. Please supply me more through this email