If you want to see a change in your relationship, you must take action - perhaps a different action. Couples who are unhappy and not satisfied with the quality of their current relationship must begin to do things differently if they want to achieve different results.
Let’s be clear about one thing first. It has to be an action. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not a feeling. It’s a verb; the result of actions you choose every day.
First understand, you can’t turn your relationship around with one extraordinary event. There’s no gift yo
u can give, favor you can do, or letter you can write. When your relationship is not working, it’s common to want to “microwave” it better. But you can’t. There’s no quick fix. It took you years to get into this mess; it’s going to take time for you to get out of it.
Successful partners in a relationship do small things in great ways for a long time. Do you want real change and lasting love in your relationship? Then establish the right habits and do them consistently. Talk and touch everyday, for example.
Reach out and touch your partner today. Make it clear that you’re touching them solely to connect in that moment. The following 50 ideas from relationship expert Mort Fertel author of Marriage Fitness, gives you suggestions and inspiration. Don’t be overwhelmed. The list is long in order to give you plenty of options. It is recommended you pick two from the following list; and do one in the next 24 hours.
1. Express confidence in one of your spouse’s decisions
2. Share dessert with one fork
3. What was “your song” when you were dating? Call your spouse and sing it to them.
4. Surprise visit your partner at their office or home and give them a kiss… and then leave.
5. Play footsie next time you sit together
6. Learn a new joke today and share it with your partner
7. Ask how your partner’s day went - and really listen
8. Kiss your partner upon waking
9. Kiss your partner before sleeping
10. Caress your s partner ’s hand
11. Touch your partner ’s cheek or hand while driving
12. Rub shoulders next time you sit next to each other
13. Sit on your partner’s lap or sit them on yours
14. Compliment something your partner is wearing
15. Call your partner out of the blue to let them know you are thinking of them
16. Give your partner a neck or shoulder massage
17. Share a story from the news or your day that you thought was interesting
18. What about dancing before dinner? No one’s looking.
19. Tell your partner that if you had to do it all over again, you’d choose them
20. Share a problem - thank your spouse for their concern
21. Play with your partner ’s hair while talking in bed
22. Fall asleep holding hands
23. Remind your partner to drive safely next time they leave the house
24. Call your partner at work with the latest news.
25. Have a tickle “fight”
26. Say “I’m sorry” about a mistake you recently made
27. Think of three ways your partner has made you a better person - tell them
28. Compliment your partner on your favorite physical trait
29. Play Twister and let yourself laugh out loud
30. Look at your partner when they are unaware of your gaze - share your feelings
31. Share what you most admire about your partner
32. Have a “remember when?” moment.
33. Thank your partner for helping you through a challenging time in your life
34. Find a reason to touch your spouse when you are in the same room
35. Dig out the wedding album and reminisce
36. Hold hands under the table
37. Brush your mate’s hair out of his/her eyes
38. Straighten his tie, being sure to touch him with love
39. Button or zip her dress, being sure to touch her with love
40. Knead the same dough together
41. Kiss in the elevator when no one is looking
42. Express confidence in your spouse’s ability to overcome a problem
43. Listen to your partner’s worries - ask how you can help
44. Make your partner’s lunch for the day - deliver it with a kiss
45. Send your partner an email with your special “code words” for I Love You!
46. Turn off your partner’s alarm clock - wake them with a massage
47. Kiss the back of your partner’s neck while he/she is reading
48. Before parting, tell your partner you can’t wait to see him/her again
49. An extra hug for no reason at all never hurt anyone
50. “Spoon” your mate while sleeping
Next: What’s the frequency?
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