10 Rules for a Great Relationship
Today: Rule 7 – Make the relationship a priority
1. Accept and embrace your partner’s differences
2. Staying connected is more important than being right
3. You get out of it what you put into it
4. Regularly get out of your daily routine
5. Convey your partner’s importance to him or her
6. Fight fairly
7. Make the relationship a priority
8. Savor every day
9. Talk about your future together
10. Believe in the “fairy tale” aspects of love
Your career is important and so are your children, friends and other interests, but be careful how you set your priorities. Your relationship cannot always be the sol
e priority but it should be at the top of the list most of the time.
Consider all of the people you know in your life right now. Some are very close friends who you can depend on a great deal of the time while others are casual acquaintances with which you share a common setting (such as work) or a common circumstance (your children play together on the same soccer team). Your spouse or partner, on the other hand, is the only person who will always be there for you – unconditionally. This person deserves to be the main priority in your life. However, keep in mind your partner does not have to be the main focus in your life.
There is a difference between a priority and a focus. Your focus can be building your career or pursuing an education. You are entitled to focus on what’s important to you and your personal growth. Your priorities, however, should always be paramount to everything else. Regarding your relationship, your day-to-day focus can certainly be on doing the things that are important to you, but these things are subordinate to what’s fundamentally the most important aspect and highest priority of your life – your partner.
All that you focus on should complement and support the priority of building and cultivating a productive and lasting relationship. Here’s a personal example to illustrate this point. My wife and I have two completely separate careers and professional interests. Our collective days are indeed busy ones. Often, the first time I see Mary Beth is early in the evening when we both find our way home. There’s no question we are both completely focused on what we are doing during the day. But, we do things for each other throughout the day to make sure the other knows that no matter the activity and pace of our separate lives, the most important thing, our priority, is each other and our marriage
The things we do are quick and easy: a note left on the counter in the morning, an email, a quick phone call. Combined these things take us just a few short minutes to do, but the impact and significance of reminding each other that, no matter what, the most important thing in our life is our relationship, lasts for a very long time.
Next: Savor every day
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