10 Rules for a Great Relationship
Today: Rule 5 – Convey your partner’s importance to him or her
2. Staying connected is more important than being right
3. You get out of it what you put into it
4. Regularly get out of your daily routine
5. Convey your partner’s importance to him or her
6. Fight fairly
7. Make the relationship a priority
8. Savor every day
9. Talk about your future together
10. Believe in the “fairy tale” aspects of love
Be sure to remind your partner, as often as you can, they are more than enough for you. The goal is not to come across as insincere, but genuine and deliberate. Speak from your heart and from your heart to their heart, share with them how you feel about what they do, how they act and even how they look.
A good
exercise to use in order to practice and implement this suggestion is called “The Gifts I See in You.” Here’s how it works:
Walk up to your partner and engage in meaningful eye contact. Don’t stare a hole through him or her just let them know you are taking a moment to experience them. Be sure to really experience your partner. Read their mood and tune into what he or she might want to hear at this moment. Then carefully state two or three single words that will convey to your partner how important they really are to you.
For example, one partner might say to the other something like: “The gifts I see in you are compassion, integrity and perseverance.” That’s it. Just shower them with your thoughtful and sincere sentiments - don’t feel like you have to drown them with a fire hose of rhetoric.
Years ago I watched the movie “City Slickers” with Billy Crystal and the late Jack Palance. Palance’s character, Curly, often told Crystal’s character that the meaning of life boiled down to only one thing. Curly never revealed what that one thing is because it is different for each one of us and it’s our personal responsibility to find it for ourselves. In my life there is question what that “one thing” is – the love of my wife and family. Everything else in my life is subordinate to that fact, that truth. The way I cherish and take care of the single most important aspect of my life to remind my wife that she is more than enough as a wife, mother and person. She believes me and trusts me and uses this information to build a life and career that she can call her own. Her happiness is the best gift she gives in return.
Next: Fight fairly