Today we are going to look at step 3, Decide What You Want. The purpose of taking these steps out of order this week is to stress the point that the steps are not intended to be linear or sequential. Meaning, the theory isn’t we must accomplish one before going to the next. Instead, all 7 steps for creating the life we want can happen simultaneously and are on going.
For most of us, at the core of what we want is to be happy. No matter if the expressed goal is to find the perfect soul mate or win the lottery, the underlying concept is these things would bring us happiness. Therefore, it’s not the prospect of a loving relationship per se, or the money in the bank account, it’s the “Want” to feel and be happy that is the primary target.
Be careful for what you wish for, though. Sometimes we have the impression that a certain circumstance or situation will bring us happiness. It’s important to understand that people or things don’t bring us happiness; it’s how we feel about these that brings us the happiness. A good test to use to see if a particular thing is what we really want, is to ask yourself a series of “Why” questions.
Simply put, the “Want” defines what we want – it is often times very measurable (the quality of the relationship, the checkbook balance, etc.), but the “Why” is makes us excited about the “Want” and gi
ves us the energy to pursue it.
Consider for a moment one of you “Wants” and then peel it with a series of “Why” questions; for example:
I want a summer beach house.
Why?
Because I want to be outdoors more in the summer and not stuck in my house.
Why don’t you want to be indoors all summer?
Because I love the lifestyle associated with living on the beach – I like the calmness and serenity of the smell of the salty air and the sound of the waves hitting the shore.
Why do you like the calmness and serenity?
Because it makes me feel good it makes me feel more alive and it makes me happy!
Bingo, that’s it. It’s not the beach house, it’s the feeling and the happiness, at a deep level, not at a superficial level, the beach house gives us. The whole point of step 3, Decide What You Want, is to get in touch with your real wants –the ones that live underneath the surface. By using a series of “Why” peel questions, will put you in a better position to discover what your true “Wants” really are.